July 2009
3 posts
Our water fountains are outside the restroom doors...
Right?
June 2009
60 posts
Last Confession on Confession Day: I have 99...
Just kidding. I’m about to bust outta this joint and leave for a week of vacation. Holla ninjas! Goodbye tumblarity. It was cool to see you raise from a 4 to a 5 this past week.
Confession 14: My balls aren't as big as the balls...
I’m a hypocrite. So I live vicariously through others. This goes back to me being sure that I would appear to be the better child if I had a brother or sister. Minus the whole always being wastey faced thing. Plus I cuss too much and I don’t technically have feelings, but on the positive side of things: I’m very nice, I always smell good, and I am a pseudo-intellectual. I’m...
Confession 13: I keep a flask of Maker's Mark in...
Just kidding… Maybe.
Confession 12: I do not like the color pink.
If I must be girly, I choose purple.
Confession 11: Sometimes I can feel my puppy...
I’m tired. Shhhh.
Confession 10: When you say, "It is what it is," I...
Because of-fucking-course it is. What in the hell else would it be if it wasn’t what it was? You are just talking to hear yourself talk. Shut up.
Confession 9: I do not care about the details of...
I only want to see your dress and judge your center pieces and confirm that there will be a mint julep fountain.
Confession 8: I think I might finally be an adult....
I’m frugal, I RSVP to shit, I send money in cards to cousins turning seven or graduating from something, I have scheduled laundry and cleaning days, I am less awkward around small children, I am respectfully punctual, I’m developing a filter between my brain and my mouth, and I don’t really feel too much like a giant bag of douche if I stay home on an occasional Friday night (so...
“Heeeeeeeeeere’s Farrahhhhhh!”
“Heeeeeeeeeere’s Michaellllll!”
God: “Dammit Ed....”
– Twitter / Mike Monteiro (via nickdouglas) (via caro)
Confession 7: I am sorry, but gladiator sandals...
I feel like in 2019, it will be like looking back on tight-rolled jeans and we’ll say, “Shit, did we really think that was flattering and cool? We are lame.”
Confession 6: I am annoyed by people who say they...
Yes, the clowns are somewhat creepy but come on, you’re not fucking six. And when was the last time you read about a clown ass raping and killing someone in a dark alley? There are cooler things to be afraid of.
Confession 5: I wish I wasn't an only child. I...
Whether it be because I really am better, or because I sabotage him/her.
Confession 4: I can't fucking count.
I had two Confession 3s.
Confession 3: I listen to rap music loudly, but I...
Just like that Indian guy at the beginning of the movie Office Space.
Confession 3: I drive with the air conditioner on...
I make up for it by recycling?
Confession 2: I really do blame it on the...
Everything… I strip myself of almost all responsibility and dignity when I drink. I like to think it’s just a phase… That I’ve been in… Since 16.
Heyyy, awesome idea to drink and smoke your way...
KCCC swimming is over for the week. In high school, I swam a 200 free in less than two minutes. This week, I swam it in three. Awesome.
nedhepburn:
Kermit The Frog “It’s Not Easy Being...
Draw Envious Looks, Carry Your Camera In A Sony... →
“I can resist everything except temptation.”
– Oscar Wilde
“I am an optimist. But I’m an optimist who takes his raincoat.”
– Harold Wilson
“A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely...”
– Oscar Wilde
“I’ve got an oscillating fan at my house. The fan goes back and forth. It...”
– Mitch Hedberg
“Why are you picking on the Post Office? For 44 cents, someone comes to your...”
– Jon Stewart, pointing out to House minority leader John Boehner that perhaps the United States Postal Service is a bad example of government mismanagement, on The Daily Show (via inothernews)